i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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