Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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