so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize