i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize