How'd it feel making her break her religion?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize