Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Enjoy the penises
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
