playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night