is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex