Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this