margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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