but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
