she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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