Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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