Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
