I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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