do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize