My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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