I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
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Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
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If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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