nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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