I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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