she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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