Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.