i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.