There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.