I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.