and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.