sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.