I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.