I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
