I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
