Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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