Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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