its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think people are normalizing furries
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