Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize