I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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