i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This is the high leading the old right now
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
