Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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