Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize