Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
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Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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