You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize