I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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