stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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