I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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