My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize