she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I see more hoeing in ur future
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
