my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
