Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
