She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Drake has all the answers
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize