I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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