So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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