Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
