i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
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The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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