just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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