I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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