***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She told me I should be a condom model.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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